08.03 THE LAST STRAW

It’s girl’s night out and you’re hopping bars downtown as best you can in high heels and a mini skirt. After batting a few eyelashes you sneak past the line into Jack Rabbits and just as you’re about to tear up the dance floor (again, as best you can in high heels), you bump into your boyfriend hitting on another girl who can hold her own in stilettos.

You finally put your shoes to good use by taking one off to throw it at his head, now deflated from the ego-tearing rant you sputtered while he tried his best to look innocent. Then, in an effort to gain impetus you search for the straw that links your mouth to your fuel and suck back the frozen rock bottom of your daiquiri. There is a final gurgling slurp before you run out of juice and aggressively slam your glass down on the bar beside you.

He has a smirk on his face. Your anger turns to fury.
But why doesn’t he seem to get it?
It must have been the straw.

Tuna argues that it’s impossible to look angry while drinking from a straw.
So we tried to. It wasn’t easy.
What do you think?

08.02 DAIRY FREEZ

Casey, Jen and I took a road trip out to the county this afternoon. Our first stop, in Wheatley, was (Casey’s) Aunt Heather’s shop. She sells all sorts of decorative odds and ends…fancy knickknacks and things. Aunt Heather is a Leamington resident but knows the ins and outs of the W-dot and eagerly suggested all sorts of things to do while visiting Wheatley. So, we ventured down to the dock which harboured a dozen or so industrial and fishing boats and drove up to the beach (which I would liken to an uncontained sand box) before we exhausted ourselves of the small town and made our way to Tomato Town.

Here we bought all the fixings for a picnic but took it to Jen’s grandparents apartment with the plan to hop in their pool after lunch. Instead, we ate until we could just barely stuff in the perfectly ripe and oversized local peaches they had just picked up from a neighbour’s roadside stand.

I thought I had had a good old fashioned trip to the county, until we passed the Dairy Freez where, to Jen and Casey’s flabbergastedness I had never eaten. This place is a landmark to Essex County, having been established for decades and never ever changed a bit. It’s apparantly not a proper trip to the county without a pit stop for a soft cone with chocolate sauce. We endulged before finally returning to the city, exhausted and stuffed silly.

I’m only warming up to the tourist mode.

07.17 VENISON

Ironwoman joined me for dinner tonight. I prepared a venison roast and although she is almost vegetarian, Casey devours wild meat.

I suppose the sport of hunting is environmentally and economically more sound that raising cattle for slaughter, and somehow poses less of a moral challenge for me. Still I find it far more difficult to dissociate the spirited wild animal from its bloody shank of muscle tissue on the bone.

Casey doesn’t. But then, she didn’t wash and prepare the roast. She didn’t trim the thin layer of fat from the sinew. She didn’t eat from the rare-cooked midsection of the cut, where blood trickled as I sliced through the meat.

I bet she didn’t even cry when she watched Bambi.
Neither did I, but I bet I would if I watched it today.

07.05 EAT YOUR GREENS

Warm artichoke spinach dip, mixed green salad, spinach pesto pasta, pistachio cheesecake, mint green tea soy lattes, and dried kiwi fruit decorated the dinner table tonight. Perhaps the colour green was too easy. Maybe we should have rented The Colour Purple, Blue Crush, or Pretty in Pink instead. It's possible then that I wouldn't have such a stomach ache from the abundance of food at our Shrek-themed potluck.

Keeping with our wintertime tradition of getting together for experimental eats and prime time TV drama, Jen, Casey and I rented the first sequel in an effort to catch up with the rest of the world already viewing Shrek 3 in theatres. Josh and Alexander joined us and both watched the flick for the second time. The movie is clever and fully entertaining, and Antonio Banderas' voice over for Puss in Boots inspired the idea for a Spanish-style dinner party next week. I still haven't seen The Legend of Zorro. Tapas anyone?