It's the Luau Barbecue at Cone's, an annual gathering of local paramedics, firefighters and, well, the rest of us. The event traditionally begins with coctails under the sun, which leads a few staggering guests to the slip-and-slide on the front lawn, then carries on until enough people have been sobered by the loss of their cell phones in the pool, or otherwise pass out.In the past, flowery leis and fruit trays were staple to the party. Since Cone's boyfriend, John, joined as co-host, the event has been masculinized by the inclusion of a pig, roasted of course, as well as blow-up dolls with orifices tattooed in permanent marker afloat in the swimming pool.
Another novelty to this year's luau was the penis-shaped pinata, which guests of either sex battered with the passionate intent of a blind-folded Lorena Bobbitt. The final blow threw the pinata across the fence, fertilizing the neighbours lawn with a candy sperm.
In any event, the pinata added a Spanish twist to the Hawaiian-themed party, making it a multicultural event, in true Windsor fashion.
